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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

7:56 PM

Ok, so the past couple of days i have started eating dinner again, who knows what was going on last week, my internet not working just made me feel like not eating. And now i have the most unhealthy eating pattern ever known to mankind, not eating anything all day until dinner. I think it's starting to have an effect, last night and tonight i have felt SO sick after eating dinner. Not only this, but my body is starting to hurt. I really think i was stupid not eating, and it's starting to stuff me up. I starve myself all day, and come home and basically eat a huge meal. Well i guess the first step is admitting a problem. I am seriously starting to have pains in my chest, arms, legs, everywhere. And oh, surprise, never had these pains in my life before i started basically starving myself - guess i've finally come to my senses and am going to try and develop a healthy eating pattern again. Deep down i knew it was stupid all along, i just didn't want to admit it. I'm glad i realised now before i did anymore damage. I'm not afraid to admit i probably ate one whole thing all weekend, and it was at McDonalds with Phillip, where i couldn't not eat. Reading about anorexia on Wikipedia has probably put me off not eating for good. I think the first sign was my heart starting to hurt, oh, and what does it say on Wikipedia: "Anorexia puts a particular strain on the structure and function of the heart and cardiovascular system". Although i don't think i could ever consider what i had 'anorexia', i think i was getting there. And also, this issue has been going on a lot longer than anybody knows about, i'd give it a good two months.

I'm going to eat breakfast before i leave for school tomorrow if it kills me.
 

 

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